Gifting Quandries,Gifting Solutions

If I were to be in your situation here's how I would handle it:

If the new friends are new to the game I would send them a polite PM explaining the situation & ask them to either make a small change to their wish list or not to send any further gifts as I can't reciprocate.It could be that they are not aware of the anguish they are causing.
Should they not choose either option then delete them.
Stress in any form is bad for your health & these few friends are now having an impact on your regular friends & spoiling your enjoyment of the game.

Just curious... what do you have on your wish list?
you are not a 'friend' of mine, (I don't think)
don't know what level you are on
or what platform you play on.
How many friends do you have?

I have held off on posting on this thread, but you have me feeling REALLY guilty about things I have on my lists (pc and ios)
I have been playing this game since almost the beginning on PC. Actually started on iPad, but had to start over. Which is not relevant..
I'm still trying to figure out what is right to put on my list and what is wrong.

I am sorry you are feeling so stressed about re-gifting, but if someone on my list hasn't changed to something I can't gift, I give them 3 strikes. Then move on... no need for so much stress to return a gift!!
If I can't find someone on my re-gift list to make the 15 times per day, then I send someone random who hasn't gifted me in awhile. Do I expect anything back? Not necessarily. Sometimes I buy a gift for someone, do you know whether your gifting friends are buying things for you?

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but like I said.. this has made me feel really guilty about what I have on my lists. Some I have on so people can send, some I really need!
Everyone plays different and has different needs.

Ok to delete if I offended anyone.

And I appreciate ALL of my friends for how they have helped me get this far in the game

1457051 wrote:Just curious... what do you have on your wish list?
you are not a 'friend' of mine, (I don't think)
don't know what level you are on
or what platform you play on.
How many friends do you have?

Ok to delete if I offended anyone.

I am also feeling guilty if this has caused any distress - same thing, I don't know if you are a "friend" etc but I seriously hope that, if I am, I haven't done anything to stress you (and if I have, please let me know) and if not, please don't let it get to you - we are all kinda in the same castle of madness - it should be fun, not stressful.

Similarly, if I've offended anyone, it was not intended and I apologise.

The only angst I've felt about gifting is that there are times I just don't feel well enough to even open my game, resulting in a backlog of gifts from my wonderful friends. I try to always gift either airship items or pet food, because I know we all always need them, and I figure I can always replenish them easily enough if needed. Also, if one of my gifting friends has an event item on their list after the event is over, I'll gift it. The people on my friends list have pulled me out of so many seemingly impossible situations, they deserve anything I can give them.

Lovin' the castle,
katiek

I do feel terrible when I don't play for a few days, and log in to find all those nice gifts! But otherwise, your wish list is your own -- no one is forced to send you a gift and no one is forced to be offended by your list. PLEASE don't feel guilty about any of this stuff.

Anyone who suffers deep angst and distress because of my wish list is welcome to unfriend me. Then they will feel better and I will have no hard feelings toward them.

tahitianpearl wrote:..... I am VERY thankful for my WONDERFUL friends, i.e. - Desertdruid and MANY others - who have, without a second thought, gifted me the items that I need.…… Since I started my IPad game, I've always had to scrape together items to play. The IPad game did not get to finish the Halloween event, and/or the Christmas event…… If it weren't for the wonderful generosity of my neighbors, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have in my IPad game...

Oh Pearl, you are so sweet! I'm very happy to have helped with event items you need. Please put some back on your wishlist! I still have lots (hundreds) to share. I'm struggling to catch up gifting back (again!), but will continue sending you event items for years, if that's what you need!

AuntieRoo wrote:Only MY opinion for MY game but:
My friends & the friendship they give me are worth more than the few measly shards I'd get for disenchanting any items they might need.
A friend may very well value a high coin egg but then again another friend might value the last component for a past event pet or that last pumpkin for the achievement even more.

Just saying.

I agree. I come to this game to relieve my stress, not to allow it to cause me more stress in life by over thinking it all. I personally choose not to dwell on what my friends ask for or for that matter what I ask for.
I do gift stamps, food, and airship items daily. I am glad to give what I have and I certainly hope none of my friends feel guilty or obligated or frustrated in what they gift to me, keeping in mind the fun of the game. I have had eggs on my list recently because there are two that I am missing to craft two pets. It does not hurt to ask because I also have plenty of other eggs to spare and would gift if a friend requested. Yes, even the 5000 coin value eggs.
Everyone plays differently and strategizes their items differently with different goals. Thank goodness. Personally, I keep only 20 friends so that I can equally gift on a regular basis and not be overwhelmed with who gets what. That works for me.

Happy stressfree playing all,
Penelope

Insights on friends gleaned from reading posts.

[Note: My BA is in history. Historians collect and organize information for presentation to a reader or audience. If you're not interested just skip this post. My feelings won't be hurt.]

1. Gifting is NOT a requirement. (Except for Trina occasionally asking for postcards or a rare CC.)

2. No one is required to return a gift.
a. You are not required to send a gift.
b. None of your friends is required to send you a gift.

3. Don't feel guilty if your friend has no wish list or lists only items you can't or don't want to send. Check their list periodically for changes, then gift if you want to.

4. If you only list specific "rare" or expensive items then don't be surprised if you receive fewer gifts. (I have one friend whose wish list has 4 eggs.)

5. If someone's gifting or non-gifting annoys you then ignore them or unfriend them. A couple of times I unfriended someone and immediately got a new friend request from them. I usually accept the request, but don't really expect any change in behavior.

6. If someone unfriends you don't take it personally. It may have nothing to do with you.

7. You don't have to accept every friend request you receive.

8. How many friends to have is purely a personal decision. Some people like 100 or more, others want only a few.
a. If you feel overwhelmed then consider cutting down on your list.
b. If you want more gifts then send out some friend requests.

9. Make a list of your friends (off your game computer) in case your computer crashes. Customer Service can transfer your game to a new computer, but can't transfer your friend list. You would need to re-invite them.

10. Your friend list should include their game name and ID #. Other items that may be helpful are forum name and level.

I don't stress over gifts just giving, I have so many friends that when gifting 5 at a time I just make sure where I left off to start at the next one. It may take me a couple of days to gift to everyone (I have 97 friends and I hope I don't miss any). I have given the expensive eggs as long as I have them and don't need them. I gift almost everything anyone asks for, so since we've been waiting on this last update I've accumulated a lot of things and am comfortable gifting to my friends, they helped me when I was in need when they could so I try to do the same. My problem is that you can only gift 5 friends at one time even if that means a couple times a day it's hard to go through my list very quickly.